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Back In The Crowd

October 31, 2007

"Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through"
-Todd Rundgren "Hello It's Me"

"All the untested virtue
The things I said I'd never do
Least of all unto you"
Ben Folds Five "Mess"

"Minute I got some space and time
I wanted to get me back in the crowd"
-Semisonic "DND"

The college crowd of today wouldn't know it, but I remember a song by Semisonic that was blatantly ripped off for a project by a girl in one of my Writing classes when I was a student at the University of Evansville. No, not the song quoted, but another from the same disc.

The prof didn't notice, or if he did he kept it to himself, much like I did. But, like many things, I noticed, more than I probably should. That's just how it goes.

I don't write this to brag, but having a high IQ can be a curse at times; it's a blessing overall, but it can make finding things of an acceptable quality to be much more difficult than it is for the general public.

On those rare times when an influence is able to dumb me down on a temporary ride, like last night, things are much funnier. It's easier to accept an applied presentation, either to find humor or answers or solutions, in many ways in that situation. Yet, even in my stupors, I realize the temporary nature of my enjoyment, but for that time I simply enjoy the beauty of the ride.

If you're of average intelligence, don't be unhappy. The dark side of the moon can be a frightening place.

Self-indulgent enough for you? Good. When I write, I feel that I express myself most fully; I'm able to think things out, articulate them in a way both unique and succinct, and people can read along at their own pace. People have praised me for what I've written on here, in some cases begged me to write more when I've gone on a temporary hiatus, and I know why.

Sometimes writing provides a direct view into someone's mind, more so than can be found in the confines of conversation (with its instant response and inability to pause for consideration), and it can be a fascinating way to find out more about someone. It's a way to be entertained, to learn things you might not know, or to take a respite from whatever is going on in your mind at that moment.

That, to me, is why writing is such a wonderful thing. The ability to communicate to others, even through as indirect a method of communication as a website posting, is much easier this way. Give the reader the time to comprehend, ponder, and either condemn me for my bullshit or praise me for my spot-on accuracy or find somewhere in-between. Or say nothing. For you, my reader, have anonymity. Another advantage to a direct e-mail.

Or so you think. I can tell when someone is holding back from me in conversation. I can observe the most minute details and process them in a manner that is both accurate and insightful, yet the bane of my life is the inability to take that information and turn it into behavior that will work best for me. If I could manipulate the way I can analyze, I'd already be a multi-millionaire.

But I can't, so I'm not.

The date on this entry, it's bullshit. It says October 31, but it's really November 1, the early a.m. hours (even on Pacific Time), but I don't want to jump through the hoops of trying to update the site for a new month's entry. Not tonight. There, you have yet more candor from me.

So here I am with my full-time job of running For once I don't have a plan in mind; with every job I've had since college, I've at least had a plan, which means a Plan A and a Plan B and a Plan C. Prepare for the unexpected, I've had that in my head since I earned my stripes as a TV news producer. It's like chess, planning your moves well ahead of time. Only this time, I'm taking a chance on my passions, writing and football, turning into a payday.

Of course, a series of unexpected events pushed me in this direction, but sometimes you have to go with the flow. Even a passive-aggressive type like me can do that. At least for a little while.

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