Lou Pickney's Online Commentary
Weekender
Sunday
May 4, 2003
"Don't you think she looks like Uma Thurman?"
-Scott Massey, early this morning at Ybor Secrets
"And now I'm sure I could've been anybody else."
-Something Corporate "I Kissed A Drunk Girl"
Two controversies involving high-profile college coaches have been in the news this week. Iowa State is considering firing head coach Larry Eustachy in the wake of the publication of pictures of him attending a fraternity party at the University of Missouri. The party took place the night of an Iowa State loss to Missouri, and in the picture Eustachy is shown kissing girls on the cheek. Iowa State athletic director Bruce Van De Velde has recommended that Eustachy be fired.
Meanwhile, Mike Price is out as head football coach at Alabama before he ever coached a game for the school. Price, who left Washington State to take over at Bama, was fired this week after news came out that he had spent several hundred dollars at a strip club in Pensacola earlier this year. The most salacious of the charges is that he invited a stripper back to his hotel room.
In both of these cases, I kept waiting for there to be more to come forward, as if the story was actually to lead up to something criminal. But, incredibly, in neither case did that happen. Both men did nothing (at least that has been mentioned publically) to violate the law.
What has happened to Coach Eustachy and Coach Price is baffling to me. In Eustachy's case, he exercised poor judgment in partying with his rival school the night of a loss. There's no argument to that. But to lose your job over going to a party?!?! What in God's name is going on here?!?
With Price's situation, the termination is even more incredible. He went to a gentleman's club, during the off-season, out of his school's home state, and spent some of his hard-earned money. He didn't commit any crimes. I kept waiting for an Atlanta Gold Club-esque accusation... and I'm still waiting.
The print media seems to be having a field day with this one, Puritanism blazing strong:
"But lately, coaches' sophomoric excesses are becoming just as corrosive to the NCAA as their cheating; and in fact the two may go together."
-Sally Jenkins, Washington Post
"Do Eustachy's sympathizers comprehend how negligent his behavior was?"
-Jason Whitlock, Kansas City Star
"Eustachy... did this to himself and Alabama football coach Mike Price did the same thing."
-Mike Lupica, New York Daily News
"Instead of lobbying to keep their jobs, the 42-year-old Eustachy and 57-year-old Price, both married and with two sons, should be figuring out how to get their personal lives in order."
-Phil Beebe, The Star Press (Muncie, IN)
Ahhh, there we go, the marriage issue. You knew it was coming sooner or later, didn't you? Most pundits are afraid of addressing the issue outright, but that grand social control device known as marriage seems to me to be an underlying issue here. Would Eustachy or Price face the same level of criticism were they single? We'll never know, but I have my doubts.
Whatever the case, I think it's ridiculous that American society has evolved to the point where going to a fraternity party or a strip club is considered so terrible as to justify a coach being fired. If Eustachy was accused of raping some girl at a party, or if Davis was accused of doing lines of coke at the strip club, then I could understand it. But that's not the case. Nonetheless, the PR machine is a bitch.
Iowa State and Alabama may have the legal ground to fire the coaches, but I think both schools are making bad decisions. Here's hoping that Bama goes 0-11 on the gridiron this fall.
The Tampa Bay Lightning are done for the year thanks to Friday night's triple overtime loss to the New Jersey Devils. The Devils are really tough, and as much as I hate to admit it they seem like the strongest team out there right now. Ottawa may be a higher seed, but they can't afford to fall down 1-0 all the time (like they have in every game so far in their series with the Philadelphia Flyers). The Devils' defense will destroy them if that happens.
In the NBA, it was a mixed bag this weekend. The damn Detroit Pistons came back from 3-1 down to beat the Orlando Magic in their series, denying us a potentially scintillating matchup between Orlando's Tracy McGrady and Philadelphia's Allen Iverson in the conference semi-finals. In the West, the Dallas Mavericks nearly blew a 3-0 series lead before holding on to beat the Portland Trail Blazers in Game 7 today in Dallas. That means we get the best matchup in basketball: Sacramento vs. Dallas. I absolutely love it when those two teams play, especially in the post-season. They go so fast up-and-down the court, like two teams time-warped in from the mid-80's NBA.
The trash talk has already begun from Lakers fans I know about their impending series with the San Antonio Spurs. Should be a heated matchup. As a Spurs fan, it's been hard seeing them fall short the past few years. But hopefully Tim Duncan and company can find a way to minimize Shaq and Kobe (good luck fellas).
This was a fun, eventful weekend here in Tampa. Friday night was the usual fun at Market on 7th, which included a trip over to the Irish Pub for some darts. Riley's friend Ed came along; Ed was bragging before we began about how he'd played in a league. We played the game Cricket, and Ed got out to an early lead. But luckily we weren't playing "points" (where you earn points by hitting darts in areas you've cleared out but your opponents haven't). Ed had his board filled out, but couldn't hit the elusive bulls-eye. I was all over the place, but lucky enough to have a pair of bulls. Soon enough (after another pint of imported beer) I closed out the rest as well, and it became a bulls-eye battle. Riley finished off his bulls-eyes, and then hit a 17 for the win. Only problem: it was actually an 11, not the 17 (the old-style board was hard to read). So we decided to settle the controversy by having a bulls-eye battle. The first two rounds were nada. Third time around I missed, and Riley hit on his second throw. Ed then went for the tie, but couldn't connect. In a funny move, Ed then tried to get us to play where you had to close out the 20's before you could begin on the 19's (i.e. rewarding a more accurate thrower). Fortunately that ended before it really began.
I went with Todd and Riley to Tampa Bay Downs on Saturday for the first time ever. Being that we're here in sunny Florida, racing season goes from December-May (the horses are taken up to New York after that, as it gets unbearably hot here in the summer). I did some on-track betting (won a couple, lost a few), and also put $2 on the #4 horse in the Kentucky Derby, Atswhatimatalknbout. My friend Josh Tenisci had called me earlier in the day and told me he put $100 on the horse. So I figured what the hell, I'll put two bucks on it. Unfortunately, Atswhatimatalknbout finished fourth.
The race track itself was an interesting place. In many ways it reminded me of casinos, with a primarily elderly, chain-smoking clientel throwing down cash next to guys who look like rejects from the World Poker Championships. They nickel-and-dimed you to death: $2 cover, $2 program, $1 for entrance to the Clubhouse area (which thankfully was smoke-free). There was something neat about seeing the live racing in person though. I'd been to Ellis Park in Evansville, Indiana back in the day, but only stayed long enough to place a bet for the 1999 Derby (which also didn't hit).
Then there's the people who work there, which is a whole different sub-genre. At the ticket booth alone there was a elderly guy who couldn't talk, a surly older woman who seemed to enjoy having an attitude with the customers, and then a 60-something year old man with Ric Flair white hair and the look that he might snap you if you messed with him (though he was cheerful enough to deal with). There was some major unintentional comedy when I tried to cash a winning ticket with the elderly guy who couldn't talk, and he tried to pantomime to me that the race wasn't official yet.
Perhaps the most interesting thing to watch though was the betting of Rob, a friend of Riley and Todd's who they knew from college. The guy has a Cosmo Kramer level of unexplained independent funding (presumably from his parents). And money talks -- he was there with his girlfriend Ingrid, a cute girl with DD implants. Rob had been there maybe 15 minutes and he was down $175. He was off-track betting like mad, hitting Pimlico and Churchill Downs while ignoring the actual racing going on live in person. Later he hit a bet for close to $700. Big stakes equal big payouts.
Last night Scott Massey came by and we played some NBA Live 2003. We split the series at one game apiece. I could not stop the Rockets' Steve Francis -- from outside, from in the paint, he was a one man wrecking crew. Perhaps the funniest moment from the gameplaying was when I noted that Scott's user-made Yao Ming player had Senator John Kerry's hair (I wish I had a pic of it to show on here -- think of a video game Yao Ming with a poofy salt-and-pepper wig on).
From there it was down to the pizza shop for a truly surreal encounter with Riley. Riley met Scott once before (but Riley didn't recall it), but he certainly knew Scott this time around from reading the columns on here. Riley pointed out how I always mention Scott on here as "my friend Scott Massey", which is a funny yet poignant observation. I know several people named Scott, so the last name on first reference is usually a helpful thing. I joked that perhaps I should put "my sworn enemy Scott Massey" (and, hey, maybe if I did that then he'd get the AP job at Channel 10).
We tried talking Riley into going down to Ybor Secrets, but Riley was in "Drunk Riley" mode and didn't want to go. So Scott and I went out and ran into Todd, who was working on his new job as a bicycle cabbie (where he rides a bike connected to a carriage unit around Ybor, taking the drunks from here to there). Todd said he'd give us a ride there for free, since Ybor Secrets pays him $10 for every ride he brings down there.
Now maybe I'd be fired from my post if I were a college sports coach going there, but I wanted to see Ybor Secrets for myself (I met some of the girls last week when they came in with Hammell to do a segment on the Bubba the Love Sponge show). It was a fun time, though a bit more expensive than I'd expected. Funniest line of the night came from "Miracle", the stripper who (successfully) hustled me for a lap dance.
Lou: I only have enough cash for one.
Miracle: Well, we have an ATM machine here...
Okay, maybe you had to be there, but it was a comical moment.
As I mentioned to Scott when we left, I didn't feel worried about getting mugged walking back to Camden Ybor. We had to pass through some of the rough part of Ybor, but I figure the criminal element learned soon enough that guys leaving Ybor Secrets aren't going to be carrying a whole lot of cash. I mean, think about it...
I've raved on here before about the "Just 2 Good" salad dressing. The Italian variety is excellent, but I've found one I like better: Honey Dijon. Mmmmm. Delicious. Takes salad from "ehhh it tastes alright" to "damn that's good"...
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