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Lou Pickney's Online Commentary

Everything But Hustled

Tuesday
June 6, 2006

This is the first column that I'm writing from my brand new computer. So far it has been worth every penny. I haven't had a whole lot of free time to spend on it (more on that in a minute), but it's great. Dell did a wonderful job with it, and technology has finally reached the point where new computer setup is a breeze.

However, obtaining the machine wasn't so simple, see. I already told the story about the Friday night runaround that I had from UPS. But I figured that my computer would arrive at work on Monday. That was what I was promised after waiting in that holding pen at the UPS Customer Center on Friday night following nearly two hours of sticking around to pick it up. But better late than never, right?

The UPS truck generally makes the late afternoon deliveries into the business park where my office/warehouse is located at about 4 PM Central, give or take a few minutes. It pulled up, and I had that little burst of excitement that I used to get as a kid when I knew that a new toy or video game was arriving.

The truck went next door, and it seemed to spend quite a bit of time there. I thought that the driver must be getting my computer ready to bring over, since our two doors are nearly adjacent for being in non-connected buildings. But then the UPS driver went past my door and over to the business on the other side from me. That seemed odd.

A couple of minutes passed, and then I heard the slam of a door. Perhaps the UPS driver (who has always been friendly and courteous with me) was going to be bringing it over?

Ha! No dice. I heard the roar of the engine, and I stepped out the door to see the truck rolling up the hill toward Highway 31.

Exasperation set in for me. I called the 1-800 number on the UPS website to check on my order status. It's worth mentioning that the information provided for me on there was this:

THE RECEIVER REQUESTED A HOLD FOR A FUTURE DELIVERY DATE. UPS WILL ATTEMPT DELIVERY ON DATE REQUESTED

While that was true, it was disconcerting to me that it referred to a "future delivery date" on the day that I had told them to deliver it to me. Upon finally fighting through automation to reach a real-life operator, my feared were confirmed. The delivery date was put into the system for June 12, not June 5. Idiots. Idiots!!!

If there was any saving grace, it was in knowing that my computer was at the UPS facility. This time around, I came home and rested for a little while first, allowing traffic to die down. Then I headed to Homewood.

By the time I got there, it was 6:30. Unfortunately, that also meant that there was a line there for people wanting to pick up and/or ship out items. Finally I made it to the front of the line. The woman from Friday was there. She looked at me and asked, "What are you doing here?" in one of those Uh oh, this can't be good quiet-but-familiar voices. I've only heard that tone in one other setting: where a girl's ex-boyfriend shows up at her place of business. Not that she was hostile toward me, but in this case she knew that there was trouble.

I've done enough customer service work in my time to know that screaming, yelling and berating is not the way to get things done. And, like I mentioned before, this forum helps as far as having an outlet for expressing frustration. She looked up my info in the computer, and she said softly, "You've been everything but hustled." You're damn right. She told me how they had left a note for the morning crew for me, and my deduction is that the morning crew got in on Monday, saw the "Hold for shipment on Monday" note, and assumed that it was to be held for the following Monday.

If, by some chance, someone from UPS ever reads this, I implore you: please, please, PLEASE fix your computer system where information can be passed along from one crew to another (and to the drivers) in a much more efficient way.

But as I was saying about the computer, it's a wonderful upgrade over my antiquated old one that I bought originally in September 2000. If nothing else, having Windows XP, and thus the ability to rip in CDs via iTunes, has been wonderful.

Last night's Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals (Edmonton at Carolina) was a thriller that you rarely see in a series opener. If you missed it, a quick recap: the Oilers went up 3-0, Carolina rallied to make it 3-0, then went up 4-3, only for Edmonton to tie it at 4-4. Then, in a freak incident, a teammate was knocked into Edmonton goalie Dwayne Roloson. Roloson hurt his knee, knocking him out of the rest of the series.

His backup, Ty Conklin (well, one of two backups), came into the game, and it appeared that it was heading for overtime. But then, in one of the more improbable series of events that I've seen in a hockey game, Conklin and an Edmonton defender had trouble handling the puck behind the Oilers goal with less than a minute to go. That allowed Carolina's Rod Brind'Amour to snatch the puck and score, sending the home crowd into a frenzy.

Now, I'm not the type who likes to overreact or judge a series based on what just happened (sports commentators and writers tend to have a very short memory), but two very bad things happened for Edmonton. 1. They blew a 3-0 lead. That is not a minor thing. No lead is safe now, and both teams know it. But more importantly, 2. Their standout goalie is out for the series.

Now I realize that Roloson gave up four goals last night, but that was an aberration. Right now I don't know who Edmonton will have starting at goalie when the two teams meet up again tomorrow night. Meanwhile, Cam Ward (Carolina's rookie goalie) has done a stellar job overall.

As long as I'm writing about Cam Ward, I have to ask: if your name is Cam, do you have to play hockey? I've never met anyone named Cam. The only two Cams I've ever heard of are Cam Ward and Cam Neely, both hockey players. What is Cam short for, Camera? Only playing, I know it's (probably) short for Cameron... but still, it seems to be a hockey thing.

There are two sports stories that I'm sick of hearing. These are:

-Anything involving Barry Bonds chasing Hank Aaron's home run record. I don't want to see Bonds' daily stats on the bottom line, particularly when it's a line of 0-3, K or something non-compelling like that. I didn't realize that the E in ESPN stood for Ego. Of course, I don't want the WNBA or Softball on the bottom line, either. But those I can deal with, though I like Bill Simmons' idea of listing them in pink.

-Terrell Owens, Bill Parcells and their presence together with the Cowboys. You'd think that Latrell Sprewell and P.J. Carlesemo were reuniting with the attention this is getting.

Of course Terrell Owens hasn't blown up yet in Dallas; they just had their first mini-camp. That sort of thing is something I dislike about sports journalism. Because ratings are important, the powers that be have to push the juicy stories, and T.O. has juice (not O.J. Simpson.) But there's no story there yet. This is an invent-a-story situation, and I dislike it. Yes, Owens had problems in San Francisco and Philadelphia. But if I was a Cowboys fan (I'm not), I'd be furious about the constant media attention about a problem that doesn't exist. Yet. Though I have Drew Bledsoe on my keeper fantasy football league team, so I do have a bit of an interest in things not blowing up immediately.

There are many better stories to talk about out of Dallas. Like: will the linebacker situation be solved by the off-season moves? Can Julius Jones shoulder the RB load this year? Is the secondary going to be cohesive enough to handle Donovan McNabb and Eli Manning (two QBs they'll face twice) this year? But see, that requires thought and explanation, and there's no juice there. So you tease a story with juice, T.O., and fans get sick of hearing about it and players get sick of talking about it. And nobody's happy.


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