Lou Pickney's Online Commentary
Juice Fiend
Thursday
January 30, 2003
I'm going through fruit juice like there's no tomorrow. Finished off a carton of OJ and one and a half containers of that Welch's White Grape & Peach juice in a day's time. That necessitated me going to the grocery store tonight.
I hadn't left my apartment since I went to the pharmacy yesterday. I can only imagine that I looked like a thug rolling into Publix two days unshaven and lightheaded from all the medicine. After writing out a list, I proceeded to then leave the list at home by mistake. I got everything I needed -- except for trash bags. So for now a Winn-Dixie paper sack is playing that role in my trash can.
Seems to me that stock in Sucrets should be up the way I've been buying them. But it's that or the feeling of steel wool against your throat... I'll take the former of the two, thank you very much.
The drive back was an adventure. First some asshole bikers decided to start a convoy out on Henderson Rd. I mean, enjoy biking and all, but don't act like a dumbass out there. Naturally there were no cops to be found. Forget pulling over someone doing 56 in a 50, crack down on these arrogant types on hogs who decide that weaving through traffic and between lanes is a good idea.
I was going to take my normal shortcut home, but like I mentioned with the not thinking clearly part... I ended up on the wrong road and had to take the interstate. Which was slowed to a crawl thanks to construction at the I-4/I-275 interchange. It took longer getting back than it did actually shopping.
Managed to work in a conversation with my friend Scott Massey tonight (between coughs and moments of spaced-out incoherence). He pointed out that you'll never see a "Beowulf Remix". Too true (some classics need no modifying). And we discussed an idea that I've always thought would be fun, sending an "anti-résumé". Or a fake résumé. You know, list a bunch of ridiculous job qualifications and interests. Scott suggested that it might be worth it to get a separate cell phone line just to see if someone would call. And with those TV reporter résumé tapes, has there ever been a time where a reporter has sent "the wrong tape" (like that commercial where the couple returns a movie to the video store, only to realize they'd accidentally put a homemade porn movie in for the rental tape). Scott seems to think that surely that's happened sometime somewhere. I'd go one step further and say it's probably gotten someone a job in the business (ultimate employer blackmail, having something like that when the contract comes running out...)
What if there was one of those stupid reality shows like Joe Millionaire, but instead of his secret being that he's poor, it's that he's HIV Positive. Somehow I don't see that going over too well with the American public. Sounds like a sketch that Mr. Show would do, but I doubt anyone else would try it (like when Mr. Show did the skit about "Imminent Death Syndrome"). And yes, I know that life-and-death diseases aren't funny. But this isn't poking fun at people afflicted, but rather the wonderment of how people react to that sort of thing. On second thought, that would never work in a million years.
As Bill Simmons would say, "the captain has turned on the rambling light" again. I called in sick to work again tonight. I wouldn't want to spread this to anyone. Okay note to self -- enough of the bitching.
My
2003 NFL Mock Draft is now updated and goes the full first round. Speaking of which, I received this nice e-mail about it today:
Hi Lou,
At this time of year I do a Google search for various NFL mock drafts
for the upcoming season. I pick seven to eight to watch just for fun. I've
put yours in this years group because you had the smarts & insight to
show the Patriots picking defensive linemen with their 2 first round picks.
I've seen some showing them picking a OLs and RBs. Sheesh!
Good luck with your draft, your web site, your cold and your life in general.
Lou Farley
PS - I was so glad to watch Tampa Bay kick Oakland's butt in the SB.
That seems to sum everything up. Time to go lay down again before another wave of incoherence sets in...
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