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Knight School

August 5, 2005

Texas Tech men's basketball coach Bob Knight is going to be involved in a reality television show. Now *that* should be TV worth watching!

Here's the concept: this fall, sixteen students will attend Knight School, the show set to air on ESPN in February 2006. The show will contain six one-hour episodes; filming begins in late September.

According to the wire reports I've read, players will endure "long hours of drills, conditioning and instruction" -- all to earn a chance to be a walk-on for the 2006-07 season.

I wrote this on, but I thought I'd share it with you on here as well.

Coach Bob Knight
Coach Bob Knight needs a catch phrase for his new show.

What will Bob Knight's catch phrase be for the show?

"You're cut."
"Get the hell out of my gym!"
"You're off the team!"
"Hit the bricks, junior."

I could imagine the coach's office (rip-off of The Apprentice's board room) with the two would-be walk-ons "on the chopping block", James and Omar.

Coach Knight: "James, you were terrible. Your free throws aren't improving. Your jump shot is not up to par. You seem to lack a basic grasp of the system."

(Cut away of an embarrassed-looking James)

Coach Knight: "But Omar, you've been missing class."

(Several cutaways of Omar as Knight speaks, clearly so they can edit out massive amounts of obscene language)

"We don't tolerate missed class with our starters on this team. Omar, what makes you think we'd tolerate it from a walk-on? {Pause} What? Omar, you have to understand, Texas Tech puts academics first. You're going to leave this school, this basketball program, with an education. We tell the kids that coming in here. We told all of you that. And I don't care that you're 6'8" and can hit an open jump shot; if you don't go to class, you're not going to play, and Omar, you're not going to play for me. Get the f*** out of my office."

(Omar hangs his head and leaves)

Knight: James, you're not done. You have to hit 20 free throws in a row under the oversight of my assistant coaches (another Apprentice ripoff) right now. You don't leave the gym until you do it. Understand? Now get going.

(Knight smugly sits back, then gives a monologue on the importance of education)

Yep... should be some fun television.

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